Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Children and Politics

An epiphany came to me not long ago that I can “give a prize” to my three-year old for going poop on the potty. (Sorry. This is the third blog post in a row that involves excrement. However, I have the perfect segue.) Coincidentally, I have just as high an opinion on poop as I have on what passes for political leadership in this country.  

So let’s get to it, shall we? Five reasons why politicians are exactly the same as children:

  1. Politicians have imaginary friends: the constituency.
  2. Politicians enjoy “prizes” for certain behaviors. These are actually called bribes.
  3. Politicians—when caught in a lie—use contorted reasoning to produce several new ones designed to cover the one that’s been discovered, or at least provide enough of a distraction while they run out the back door.
  4. Politicians will only share the toys after they’ve successfully hoarded all the useful/awesome ones.
  5. Politicians talk as if they know everything already, but everyone knows they’re really just plain ignorant and need to learn their lessons.

I thought of some of these as I committed yet again to dirty trade: I was going to pay money—I knew it would cost me—for nothing more than poop.

That makes me think: there’s at least one reason kids are different from politicians: the kids are worth every single expenditure. 

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